Why Be Yourself is Bullshit
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The next big obstacle you'll run into on your journey to a fulfilling life is falling for the Be Yourself phrase. It is everywhere. And we all love it. It seems so true. **I am who I am** **I am like that as long as I can remember** **Be Yourself**
It is all nice and fine, BUT it comes with a dangerous fallacy. The assumption that we are fixed, our mind is fixed, and thus change is impossible. This is the danger here for you. If you fall into this trap, it will prevent you from changing your reality. However, for changing your reality, you need to change yourself. The phrase will prevent it. Besides, it is not even true. **Our minds can change. So we can change.** In the center of ourselves is our brain. And it is a mysterious beast that can be a mighty helper or an evil villain destroying our life. However, what role it plays depends on us and what we allow it to do. But that's not the point for today. Common wisdom believes that the brain does not change once we reached adulthood. Thus it makes it extremely hard for people to change their lives. But it's far from the truth. There is something called neuroplasticity. In layman terms, it means that our brain adapts to what we use it for. Our whole life long! It also means that the brain is not fixed. It will grow and shrink, depending on how we use it. We are not limited by it; for example, we can still learn new languages beyond being 80 years old. The only precondition for that is, we have to use it. And we do so, without knowing or by intention. But before we follow that path, let's take a brief look at the brain. Our brain is made up of Neurons. They are the basic cells in our brain and transport information, from and to the central nervous system, inside the brain, and so on. When we learn something new, a connection is created between some neurons. The more we use this connection now, the stronger it gets. It's like building a road out in the bushes. First, there's just bushland, and we have to find a way through it. But the more often we use the same connection, a path is created. And the more we use it, the bigger it gets until it's suddenly a highway. From a neuroscience point, it does not matter what kind of information it is. It can be riding a bike or snapping at someone because you got upset. For example, when we learned to ride a bike, Neurons were connected for sitting on the bike, keeping balance, moving the pedals in the right order, and so on. All those tiny, meticulous tasks are neuron connections. The same goes for other things like your anger management. If you get easily upset, it's because you have trained your neurons to go that route as soon as a trigger appears. The other way around is possible! If you don't use your brain, it will go dumb. And in the worst case, you will end as one of the lifeless zombies at a retirement home. The good thing is you can prevent ending there. Our brains can change, and we can learn to change ourselves. That's the most important takeaways for you from this lesson. This. And it is so essential that I am going to repeat myself. Your brain can change, and thus you can change. You don't have to be the person you are right now, which you maybe don't even want to be. No, you can change yourself and become a version you actually like. You can become the person you want to be—the person who created your dream life. I am not going to sugarcoat it... This can be a damn hard journey... Is it worth it? Definitely, ask anybody who's gone that road, and they will tell you that it was worth it. Or take the negative approach. Do you want to be one of the mindless zombies sitting in a retirement home, hardly being able to play bingo or remember anything? It must not be your fate. You can change it. You can change you. Start now, not tomorrow. Tomorrow is a retirement home.
# Takeaway Our brains can change, and we can learn to change ourselves. You become what you think and do daily.
# Reflection Exercise Picture yourself a year from now. How do you want that person to be? Make it as vivid as you can. Once you got that, start believing you can reach it. Tell yourself you can change to that person. Because you can.
btw our book Unlock Your Mind has more of those lessons to stop self-sabotaging behavior. Concise and to the point. --- Jens
p.s. we can talk privately about applying this to your situation in the Inner Peace program. Tap to learn more.
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MindfulDevMag by Jens Boje | Pfungststr. 3, Frankfurt
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